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Saturday, 17 September 2011
if that was supposed to make me down, you need to try harder!!
"bonekaku selesai!!!" kataku dengan senyum lebar dan binar mata yang tidak coba kusembunyikan.
matanya bertemu dengan mataku. satu detik yang mengintimidasi. ekspresinya berubah. tidak ada pancaran ketulusan disana. 'hmm .. bukan ini yang kuharapkan' pikirku.
"sudahkah kamu memberinya jari" katanya. nada suaranya membuatku tidak nyaman. "tanpa jari , dia tidak bisa menggenggam, tidak bisa menangkap dan memegang" lanjutnya. "liat ini, aku sudah membawa benang benang ini, akan tampak bagus sekali untuk membuat jari".
aku menundukkan wajahku, menggenggam bonekaku di belakang tubuhku, meremasnya tanpa sadar. tidak ada jari di bonekaku. aku belum sempat membuatnya.
"dan baju!! sudahkan kaubuatkan baju?" nada suaranya berubah lagi. semakin berani dan terang-terangan. merendahkan. mejatuhkan. "kamu tidak bisa membuat boneka tanpa baju!! lihat, aku sudah punya kain untuk baju bonekaku nanti, tanpanya, masih kurang sekali!!" dia tersenyum. mencoba membuat senyum pengertian yang gagal ditunjukkan dan malah menjadi seringai menakutkan.
"kita janji menunjukkannya pada mama hari ini kan??" tanyaku tanpa berani memandang matanya.
masih dengan nada suara yang sama dia berkata "kamu boleh menunjukkannya hari ini. aku belum siap,perlu keliman keliman baju dan pita pita dirambutnya. selasa... pasti!!"
"pasti?? itu juga yang kamu bilang dua hari yang lalu, seminggu yang lalu, sebulan yang lalu. perlu berapa kali pasti lagi?? jarum dan benang tidak dapat menjahit sendiri. bonekaku mungkin belum sempurna. tapi setidaknya aku mencoba membuatnya dan bukan menyempurnakannya dalam pikiranku. aku akan memperlihatkan bonekaku pada mama apapun yang terjadi. hari ini. dan aku akan menyempurnakannya sedikit demi sedikit sesuai petunjuk mama. entah perlu berapa lama, entah berapa keras mama akan memarahiku karena ketidaksempurnaan itu. tapi setidaknya aku memulainya hari ini" kataku tanpa berpura pura sabar lagi, meninggalkannya dengan tatapan tidak percaya terpatri di wajahnya.
a friend doesn't supposed to bring us down,
a friend is supposed to care, to protect, to understand...
isn't it??
Labels: this and that, unspoken languange
0 Comments23:15
Sunday, 8 March 2009
feeling random
Labels: unspoken languange
0 Comments09:42
Thursday, 29 January 2009
complicated beauty
mbak nya cantik ..bhahahhahaa^^
Labels: unspoken languange
0 Comments18:32
kalo kata delon mah indah pada waktunya [hahaha^^]
Labels: unspoken languange
0 Comments17:46
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
after the rain
Labels: unspoken languange
0 Comments17:01
Monday, 26 January 2009
suddenly feel
orange .....
Labels: unspoken languange
0 Comments13:03
Saturday, 24 January 2009
i just know how to deal with it
Labels: unspoken languange
0 Comments13:27
[. . .]
Labels: unspoken languange
0 Comments00:35
Thursday, 22 January 2009
until then .. i sleep
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be some that can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.
I've learned that you can do some thing in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that money is a lousy way to keep score.
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I've learned that no matter good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.
I've learned that you can do some thing in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that money is a lousy way to keep score.
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
I've learned that no matter good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
Labels: unspoken languange
0 Comments21:20
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Good-bye
Labels: unspoken languange
0 Comments21:54